I GIVE

Come and fill me Holy Spirit
I seek the warmth of Your embrace
Lord I’m longing for Your presence
Just one touch of Your grace
I’ll keep on waiting, waiting on You

All my life I’ve searched for heaven
My heart it longs for so much more
A love so true
Now I’ve found it in You
I’ll keep on waiting, waiting on You

Lord I give my life
A living sacrifice I place at Your feet
I offer to You
For only You can satisfy my longing
Jesus You’re all I desire

Lord I give my life
A living sacrifice I place at Your feet
More than what this world offers
You are my only treasure
My world means nothing without You

My world means nothing
Without You

 

love,
jane

 

 

 

catching up..

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met up with ALICIA TODAY!!!:D
really happy cause I havent seen and talked to her in a long while:)
it really amazes me how friends who havent seen each other in a long time can still talk about loads of stuff and have no awkward moments..
and it really gives me the conviction that I need to spend more time and effort to keep in touch with my friends and keep my close friends CLOSER!!!
(sorry Lisa and Sheryl that I can’t meet you guys today:/)
Love Love Love Ali 😀
We had awfully chocolate ice-cream!! yumssss and then we got tempted (hehe) to eat marks and spencer chips. NOM NOM NOM.
unhealthy diet but awesome awesome AWESOME company:D
miss the days when we still got to see each other every single day!
it really kinda hits home that there is a season for everything and we’re moving on from that particular season…
hmm.

bought my white collared shirt from G2000 cause i decided that I want a newer nicer shirt for graduation and it was on SALE!!!
seriously.. walking anywhere in town is a HAZARD because the SALE word is EVERYWHERE. Tops in MANGO are going for like $29???? like wth>.<
I WILL CONTROL MYSELF.

love,
jane

just need a shut eye..
any shut eye>.<
it's like after all the stress is over, the exhaustion suddenly sets in…
hmmm… hopefully i get home quick after meeting pb.. still have so many things to do and readings to catch up on..
SUPERWOMAN MODE ON!
I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME!!!!
*turns off grumpy me*
ok.. now im ready to go out.

love,
jane

adding hours to my clock..

so here i am slacking resting for a bit before i start on my pile of 6 books again..
need to find an outlet for my thoughts. ahhaha.
really tired these few days especially cause TEAM 22 IS DOING PA this week!:D and have to be at church even earlier than my usual 8.
*looks at bed wishfully*
but i cant nap.. cause once i lie down… then that’s it>.< tmr’s tests will be interesting.

it’s interesting how I have so many things to do and i actually have the time.. like now? but i have no energy to do it>.<
ahhhhh..
I don’t even know what I’m talking about now..
it’s just random nonsense coming out of my head..
maybe, just maybe,
I’ll take a short short nap..
hmm…

love,
jane

Just like Caleb

haven’t blogged in such a long while that i’m really feeling pretty guilty about it>.<
Haha. silly old me.
I’ve just came back from my mission trip and honestly, I think I’ve come back a changed person.

Taiwan – the land of my dreams, my promised land, the place where my heart now resides, Fully.

I never would have imagined that I’d go through what I went through there during these 9 days and I have FAITH, that it is the start of something new.
I probably won’t describe the full details of each and every single day there but I just want to pour my heart out..

Our mission team was really small, in Taipei there were only 6 of us – Elaine, Hui Qun, Sandra, Shirley, Me and Danny and I knew not one of them but I knew that God called me to Taiwan, I’ve always known since I was 16.
We helped out Xin Dian Covenant Church as well as their affiliate churches with their once a year “The EDGE” youth Camp!
We were the station masters or 關主. I got to know 蹦蹦 and 雅婷 and got to hear their hopes dreams and aspirations.
I saw the hand of God move mightily among the youths in Taipei and I was so touched.. honestly so so touched.
Through that 4 days in Taipei, I really learnt a lot and one important lesson was that of having a bigger heart and more tolerance because our team is not made up of people from the same SOT team like how all the other mission trips functioned and we had to get used to everyone on the spot.
We definitely had our differences and we all came with different mindsets but we overcame all and fell in love with each other:) ahahha.

We girls slept in a uni dorm with the toilets right opposite us for quick and easy access which I really thank God for:)
It was pretty much a dream come through for me as well as it brought back memories of how I could have studied at 台大.. but God works in His own way and time and really have to wait on the Lord.
We persevered through swollen feet and backaches:)
In addition, we would have devotion every morning and danny would get breakfast for us..

I vividly remember the last devotion we had in Taipei on the 7 of July 2011, beside the field at St Luke’s University near Tam Shui.
Sandra shared a word which was from  Matthew 5:4″ Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”
and when we gathered in twos to pray, it just happened to be me and her and she told me that she felt that the word was for me..
and she really was right cause that day there was great great sorrow in my heart cause I knew i only had 4 days more in my promised land…
and I remember when we were praying that God spoke to me and said “You’ll be back”.
I immediately took great comfort in those words because it was really a confirmation to me that TAIWAN is the PLACE OF MY CALLING.
I guess that is what is helping me start to get the faith OF God.

Pastor Bobby was the major preacher throughout the camp and although I heard all the messages before, I was still greatly blessed.
I’m also really grateful for the hospitality that the Taiwanese in Taipei showed us during that time, like buying 雞扒 for us for supper and sending us to Tam Shui to have R&R for 5 hours.
I really had a great time there.
Some pictures below!

my ultimate favourite drink.

Thursday – 7 July 2011

We took the 高鐵 down to Tainan and my heart was still feeling a little heavy from leaving Taipei…
I remember looking out across the scenery and asking God what His plan was for me in Taiwan because I’ve only known that my calling is there but I didnt know what I’m supposed to do..

Reached there and I was really blown away by Rhema Harvest Church.
Our mission team had 3 new additions –  Irene 媽媽,Esther and Vincent
The people from RHC were SUPER hospitable and they piled my plate till my stomach was groaning not cause it was hungry but cause it really couldn’t take anymore food>.<
The feeling I got from the trip to Tainan is vastly different from the Taipei one because there were fewer people and we took on more responsibilities as well as interacted more with the people there.
The first night we had a meeting and then I went to pick Esther up from the 高鐵站with Stan 哥 who happily told me his age but never found out mine until I came back to Sg!:p (the joy of being young!)
Then we went back to the 賓館and a grumpy me emerged (i was tired! still in the process of having God change me!)
Had meeting till 1 plus in the morning and slept at 2 and woke up at 6:30.
God really stretched our capacities.
I was given the opportunity to BV for the first time and I really enjoyed it!:)

That Friday, we went to do street evangelism and I went with two ADORABLE 17 year old guys hahahaha (they are so gonna kill me) – 彥元and 百祥
They kept calling me 大姐 much to my annoyance but by the end of the trip, it really became a term of endearment to me.
The three of us really had breakthroughs while doing the street evangelism!
I was also really encouraged and happy when the boys came to me after our 新加坡之夜 event that night and told me excitedly that the few people we had reached out to on the street actually came and gave their hearts to Jesus!
I really thanked God that He really really encouraged them:) It was lovely to see that spark in their eyes:)
Speaking of the event, I was asked to sing Home super impromptu and I thank God that I managed to deliver it smoothly even though I kept screwing up while rehearsing.

The next day, we went to 走馬瀨農場 (the words are a lil wrong, pardon me) for a 2D, 1 N church camp with RHC.
I was once again the BV but I had to perform miracles every single session BECAUSE THE SONGS WERE IN CHINESE, THEY WERE CONFIRMED LAST MINUTE AND THERE WAS NO TELEPROMPTER!!!! hahahahhaa. BUT I ENJOYED EVERY SINGLE MOMENT OF IT!!
God really stretched my capacity there and then and really gave me the inspiration to start going for Chinese Church services when I get back to Singapore:)
The presence of God was really strong in every single session and I was really touched by how God moved among the people there.
I wanted to join the team that my two 小弟’s were in but they were full up so i joined the 威力小隊 – WINNERS who were uni students and above, basically people older than I.
We had a lot of fun together and I really saw the need to encourage them and to give them support because they may be my age or older but spiritually, they still need a lot of growth..
and that was where God moved me and showed me where my calling and place was.. till now, my heart is with them.

it was so hard to say goodbye on the 11 of July…
even knowing that I’ll be back soon to visit them (BY FAITH)
It was seriously the first time that I cried on the plane back from a country and I’ve really been to quite a few countries by the grace of God.
I had to try so hard to stifle my tears cause I was sitting with strangers..
Throughout the trip, I did not miss my parents, my family or Singapore at all.. which I normally would.. but this time I really didnt
and I knew and knew that my heart is left in Taiwan and I’ll probably never get it back..

The reason why I named my post Just like Caleb is because I think I now understand how he must have felt when he went into the promised land, came out excited only to end up with wandering in the wilderness for 40 years…
It is really that sorrow and anguish but with that expectation that God will pull me through..
I know that I am in my wilderness period now where God is going to stretch me, train me and change me so that I can work effectively for Him.. and then, that is when He will send me back into my promised land..
and I will wait upon the Lord.

for now, it’s back to my 6 books…
3 tests on Tues and I know I will conquer.
ALL SET FOR EMERGE TMR!!!!!

love,
jane
我想沒有人會了解我對台灣的思念,的盼望, 的想念。
周圍的人會說我是個瘋子,口口聲聲說是我的朋友的基督徒也可能會糟蹋我這個台灣夢。。。
但我永不會放棄,因為我知道這是神給我的意念。
台灣, 你要等我回來,一定要。